Me. At least after what I've been through.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
