Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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