hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
