she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
