My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
