some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
