Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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