im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
