Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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