He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
