bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
