imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
