When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
