Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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