on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
