i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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