His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
