I think i peed on brittanys purse
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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