He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
this just has baby written all over it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
