one two three fourrrrnication!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
