My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
