I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
