fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize