i may or may not be watching the land before time
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You need Xanax blowdarts
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
