he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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