No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
