he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
