just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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