dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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