FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
