Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
