Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
