Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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