And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
