I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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