Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
