i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
