shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
