JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
