I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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