Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
