yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
be right there i have to get my cape
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
