Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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