i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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