Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm passing your future prison.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
