I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am one with the molecules
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
