As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
