On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
