did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
