I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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