i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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