i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
