I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
