i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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