I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
