This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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