We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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