my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
