all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
