We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
