Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
