you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fuck appropriateness.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
